Tune in to the podcast, where I discuss living and working abroad.

Below is a snapshot of what you’ll hear in my podcast with ACA.

The road to Milan

My fascination with life beyond the States began in high school, when I toured Scandinavia as a member of a regional soccer team. The experience sparked my curiosity about different cultures. Later, studying abroad in Florence and Milan deepened my appreciation for Italy and ultimately led me to pursue a career in international business, setting me on my expat journey.

While completing my MBA in the U.S.A. and Italy, I interned with Pirelli in Milan. Two years later, Pirelli offered me a job at their headquarters in Italy.

Upon my return to Milan, I encountered my first set of hurdles. Navigating Italy’s bureaucracy to obtain a work permit was an early challenge. Determination and adaptability made the process less painful.

Four lessons I learned on my expat journey

• Going with the flow – Italy can test your patience. Long waits at government offices, frequent transportation strikes, and bureaucratic hurdles taught me to stop sweating the small stuff and focus on adapting instead of resisting.

• The power of determination – Five years into my expat life, Pirelli sold my business unit, and I found myself without a job. Networking and persistence helped me secure a new role with a U.S. multinational in Italy, proving that resilience is a key trait to thriving in a foreign job market.

• Embracing cultural differences – Corporate culture in Italy differs from that in the U.S.A. One of my biggest adjustments was learning the importance of face time with colleagues. Some of my best career insights came from informal conversations over coffee, lunch, and social events, rather than being glued to my desk.

• Understanding hidden costs – I underestimated taxes and some other common expenses. For example, paying roughly 700 euros for my driver’s license caught me off guard. Later, I learned how to better manage my budget and anticipate expenses, resulting in fewer surprises.

The reality of living abroad

The fantasy of moving abroad often glosses over the complexities. An expat journey presents challenges such as feeling lonely, adapting to a new way of life that may not make sense at first, being labeled a foreigner, and dealing with skeptics. Despite that, creating a new life from scratch fosters resilience, resourcefulness, and cultural openness.

Advice for aspiring expats

Thinking of relocating? Do your research. Evaluate the job offer—salary, relocation assistance, health benefits, and long-term career impact. Understand the cost of living, essential documents needed, tax implications, and logistics. If you have a family, also factor in education.

For women seeking expat roles, assertiveness is crucial. Take initiative and communicate your interest in international assignments within your company. Opportunities can arise through company expansions, acquisitions, or rotational programs.

Reflections and final thoughts

Milan’s expat community is diverse—students, business professionals, artists, designers, and entrepreneurs make up the American community here. Milan is more than just a “working city.” It has beautifully manicured, hidden courtyards, notable art, rich culture, and opportunities to meet people from all over Italy and the world.

If I could advise my younger self, I’d say, “always step outside your comfort zone and take advantage of every opportunity–whether staying put, moving to another country, or returning home.”

My expat journey has enriched my life in ways I never expected. I received career opportunities across EMEA. Have friendships with people from all over the world. Lastly, I have experienced a deep cultural immersion that is not possible through travel alone. If you’re offered an opportunity to take an expat assignment, take it! It could be the most transformative experience of your life.

Photo by Khush Sandhu from Pexels

The post My expat journey: an honest account of life abroad. appeared first on Ciao Lulu!.

Prior to the move, I had earned my MBA from the University of South Carolina. During my studies, I did an exchange program with Bocconi University’s business school and had an internship with Pirelli, the tire and telecoms equipment manufacturer. I loved it.

After I graduated, the company made me an offer to head up marketing and communications for its telecoms business, and I jumped at the chance to return to Italy.

I was on my own and only knew a few people from my internship. But I didn’t feel nervous, just excited at this new opportunity. I’ve been in Milan ever since.

If you want to know what happened after I left the U.S., read the article on CNBC Make It.

The post CNBC Make It: I left the U.S. for Italy 20 years ago— the 4 important lessons I learned appeared first on Ciao Lulu!.

I lost my husband, my companion, my life partner, and my best friend, and while it doesn’t matter what you call our relationship, we spent the past 12 years together. Through good and bad times, we were doing it together as a team navigating all that life throws at you. 

Now, I must leave that life and our joint plans behind and navigate an unknown future. When the comfort of having the right partner is no longer possible, sadness and fear sink in immediately. 

While my journey of healing and moving forward is in the early stages, I’ve learned the following from dealing with my loss.

One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.

— Brené Brown

10 tips on how to survive the loss of a loved one.

1. Open up.
   
   
2. Get professional help.
   
   
3. Form a support network.
   
   
4. Take care of business.
   
   
5. Live in the present.
   
   
6. Be assertive.
   
   
7. Take care of yourself.
   
   
8. Accept change.
   
   
9. Go easy on yourself.
   
   
10. Help someone else.

1. Open up. 

Naturally, you may not want to see anyone at first, but the sooner you let people in, the better it will be for you. I didn’t want to be needy but let’s face it, you are when you are dealing with the loss of a loved one. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. I am lucky to have a supportive network of family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Your network will offer to jump on a plane to be with you, check in on you, cook for you, walk your dog, take you out, do your shopping, take projects on to reduce your workload, etc. All I can say is let those around you help. Surviving loss and healing while abroad will be painfully slow if you try to do it alone.

I’m an introvert, so this was a significant change for me – letting others help me. While I could be better at letting people in, I’ve learned that it has been a helpful and positive experience when I do. So, if you want to be more open with people, do these nine things.

2. Get professional help.

I can’t stress how important this is. Your family, friends, and community are crucial but having an objective view, and a professional trained in helping people rebuild their lives after losing a loved one is essential. As I’m usually not an open person, I was skeptical and thought my first session would be my last session. The opposite is true. I continue to see my therapist to this day. On top of that, my therapist also has dual citizenship and understands cultural differences. I can communicate in my native language, and I know that my therapist understands the cultural differences between the United States and Italy.

Regardless of your need – surviving loss abroad, stress, burnout, depression, etc. — it is no longer taboo to seek help. Due to the pandemic, support for mental well-being has become front and center for employees and employers worldwide. Today, people acknowledge that mental health is as important as physical health. On a positive note, many companies now have mental well-being support networks. So, if you work in a large company, check in with your HR or Benefits department to see what services are available to you. Check with your healthcare provider if your company doesn’t offer these services. You can also look into group therapy which can help minimize the cost. If you need help finding or vetting a therapist, here’s a helpful resource on how to find a therapist. 

3. Form a support network.

Outside of therapy, you’ll need a core network to help you survive your loss. These are trusted friends and family close by or a phone call away. You’ll have good and bad days, anxiety attacks, depression, and many ups and downs. Having someone close by to talk through your feelings will help with the healing process. I make it a point to speak with my support network daily. We check in at the same time. Sometimes this is just an IM that everything is ok, or it is a conversation to talk through my feelings. My support group also holds me accountable for the actions I want to take and the behaviors I want to change. While it can be hard to ask for help, this is what friends and family are for; just be there for them when they need your support. You can also find comfort in joining a gym, volunteering, and other social activities. Tap into this tool to beat stress.

4. Take care of business.

With the loss of a loved one, there will be the bureaucratic “stuff” to address – wills, insurance, bills, closing and opening accounts, investments, taxes, property, pensions, etc. Prioritize and organize these activities. Some will be time-sensitive, while other items can wait. I can assure you that the cleaning up and administrative “stuff” is the energy-draining and heartless part of losing someone. It is also when you genuinely get to know a person’s character. Money and material items can often bring out the worst in the people around us. As with anything, understand the laws and your rights. To do that, work through your network. There will be someone who can recommend a lawyer or who has lived through a similar experience. Here’s a financial checklist for when your spouse dies. 

5. Live in the present.

Don’t get trapped in the past; don’t think too far ahead. I can tell you from experience that dwelling on the past will keep you stuck there. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t remember the good times. On the other hand, thinking too far ahead will parallelize you. I often get the question, will you go home, back to the States? While there are many options of where I can live, I don’t need to figure that out today. Surviving loss abroad means trying to take it one day at a time. Thinking too far into the future brings uncertainty and fear, detracting from what you need to do today. If you need help living in the present, read how to start living in the moment and stop worrying.

6. Be assertive.

Don’t be aggressive, don’t be passive, be assertive. Be confident and clear about what you want or need. Stand up for yourself. Why is this important? You don’t want to get sucked into other family members’ issues, dramas, or problems at your expense. You can still help others; just stay on top of your needs and interests. If you need help being assertive, check out seven powerful habits that make you more assertive.

7. Take care of yourself.

Not only should you take care of yourself, spoil yourself – you deserve it. When surviving the loss of a loved one, It is easy to get into the habit of rolling out of bed, putting on the same clothes from the past few days, and going through the motions. I’m not proud of it, but there were days that I didn’t even brush my teeth. You become a prisoner of your situation, and this is not good. Self-love is not only permitted but necessary. You will feel better if you take care of yourself – your health, body, and mind. In the end, you will feel better about yourself, and your outlook on life will improve. Self-love means putting yourself first, caring for your body and mind, and doing the activities you love. Here’s how to focus on yourself – and only yourself.

8. Accept change.

This is one of the hardest parts of loss. Your life will never be as it was. Surviving the loss of a loved one means you will be forced to start over. While a fresh start can be exciting, it is also frightening, especially when you are not looking for it. The sooner you accept this, the quicker you’ll move on. That’s not to say that you won’t make mistakes and slip back into the past. Are you resistant to change? Then check out your five-step resilience exercise for accepting change.

9. Go easy on yourself.

You are only human. Know that you will have good and bad days. Writing my feelings down or journaling helps me work through problems and bring about the changes I’m trying to make. Need help? Here are nine little ways to go easy on yourself right now.

10. Help someone else.

Helping others takes the focus off ourselves. It can also bring satisfaction and improve mental health, among other positive benefits. From experience, helping others provides perspective and can give us purpose. Volunteering your time might not be the first thing that comes to mind when surviving the loss of a loved one, but it will become an integral part of the healing process. Read about the seven scientific benefits of helping others. 

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not “get over” the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.

— Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler

The post 10 helpful tips to adopt when surviving loss abroad. appeared first on Ciao Lulu!.