When I landed in Italy 20 years ago, I was both excited and scared. I experienced mixed emotions. My thoughts ranged from this being a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to what had I gotten myself into and everything in between. Was this the right move in my mid-30s? What if I fail or can’t hack it? Could I make it overseas without a safety net? These are just a few thoughts that raced through my mind until I got on the plane. Having doubts is normal. That’s when you must tell yourself that nothing significant happens in your comfort zone. I reminded myself that I wanted to live and work abroad. I had studied for it and made the preparations to go, so why not now?

A year from now, you will wish you had started today. — Karen Lamb

Spending time abroad can be a life-changing experience. Here’s how you can benefit and what you can expect from your time away from home.

Take a timeout from the political chaos in the States.

Has the outcome of the election got you down? Even though the future appears bleak, this is a perfect time to escape the stress and uncertainty of the Trump Administration. Depending on your chosen place, you could be looking at everything from a more welcoming and stable government to a lower cost of living, universal healthcare, and, of course, cheaper eggs! If you still believe in it, science has proven that extended exposure to political divisiveness negatively affects your well-being. Psychology Today explains how prolonged divisiveness fuels burnout.

I’m not one for running away from my problems. However, putting some distance between you and the 24-hour news cycle will do wonders for your mental well-being, even if it’s only temporary.

Lastly, you can still participate in the resistance from abroad by joining online movements like BuildTheResistance.org, donating money, participating in virtual protests and phone campaigns, and sharing news and information on social media.

When you go abroad, leave your comfort zone behind.

Every day, you will be put to the test. You’ll have many new experiences to conquer, from minor everyday nuisances to far more complex issues. This can include everything from ordering food, understanding the metro system, meeting new people, asking for help to read the 15-line items on your pay stub, going on vacation by yourself, renting an apartment, filing local taxes, to buying a home – all in a foreign language. A dose of vulnerability can help, along with resilience and the attitude to get up and try again.

Do one thing every day that scares you. — Eleanor Roosevelt

Access learning you won’t get in the classroom.

When you go abroad, you will likely take a language class or two where you will get the basics. There are language apps to support your learning along the way as well. I encourage you to take classes and try the available tech, but the real test will come when you wake up and step outside. I call it street learning. Start the morning at a café or coffee bar. Ordering and having coffee at the corner bar will be helpful in assimilating into your new home. Not only to observe how the locals do it but also to get a sense of what people are talking about and what’s on their minds. You can extend street learning to food and clothing shopping, dining out, and the office.

Experience a new culture firsthand when you live and work abroad.

In Italy, for example, there are more than 230 festivals and events every year related to historical events, food & wine, and local traditions.

Here are just a handful of events that I have experienced: the Epiphany, Jan 6, where the Befana (witch) leaves candy and sweets in the stockings of children; Venice’s Carnevale, the farewell party leading up to Lent, Feb 14-Mar 4; Vinitaly wine festival in Verona, Apr 6-9; The Infiorata di Noto, the Baroque Flower Festival, in Noto, Sicily, May 16-20; the Sagra del Limone, a festival dedicated to lemons, in Monterosso, Cinque Terre, May 17; The Festa della Repubblica, the birthday of the Italian Republic, Jun 2; and The Festa del Redentore which takes place in Venice and celebrates the end of the plague, Jul 19-20. When you live and work abroad, events and holidays can be great fun and provide an opportunity to learn more about a new culture.

Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risk like that – that is what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that’s really special and if you’re not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself. — Amy Poehler

While overseas, open yourself up to new career opportunities.

After a few years of work experience abroad, I built up a resume that opened doors. I was exposed to opportunities that would never have been available to me in the States. A combination of experience and an extended network helped me advance my career and establish myself as an international marketing professional at home and overseas. Thanks to my success in Italy, I have been recruited and interviewed for jobs throughout EMEA.

Alternatively, being abroad can spark entrepreneurial pursuits. Many people I know have leveraged their experiences to start their own businesses in consulting, travel services, food and wine, and other opportunities related to their home overseas.

While a move of any type can be stressful, if you’ve done your research, then why not now? Today, there are more ways to go abroad than ever before. You can study, teach, volunteer, go with your current employer, get recruited internationally, or go on a digital nomad visa. You can do it yourself, or there are companies to help you find the right place and support you on your move.

An experience overseas will expand your horizons and open doors to a new you.

Photo by Lina Kivaka from Pexels

The post Live and work abroad: 5 reasons to encourage you to go now. appeared first on Ciao Lulu!.

I have wanted to walk the el Camino de Santiago for some time now and finally decided to do it. I am not an expert on the Camino as I have just completed a part of the French route, but here is what I learned from my first experience.

I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it. – Rosalia de Castro (Galician poet & novelist)

1. There is an overwhelmingly positive vibe on the Camino. 

No matter what your reason is for walking the el Camino de Santiago – recovering from a loss, confronting a health problem, embarking on a spiritual journey, disconnecting from everyday life, desiring a change of scenery, or challenging oneself physically by walking from one country to another, there is a positive energy in the air that is contagious. The people you meet go out of their way to be friendly and supportive, offering anecdotes or words of wisdom to ponder throughout your journey. No matter the circumstances, no one complains about sore feet, the unexpected and frequent rain showers, or the several kilometers to the next bar and bathroom. 

2. No one cares about what you do on the Camino.

Your job title means nothing on the el Camino de Santiago. Your backpack doesn’t have a written label like retiree, CEO, manager, caregiver, student, teacher, etc.; these mean nothing on the Camino. You’ll find that most pilgrims are curious and will greet one another with ¡Buen Camino! They want to know who you are and where you are from. Pilgrims also want to know where you started your Camino and why you’re walking. Sure, conversations might get into what you do for a living, but this does not define you on the Camino. On the Camino, there’s a level of openness and acceptance unmatched elsewhere. 

3. There is an unwritten rule to respect all walkers. 

No one bad-mouths another pilgrim. On the el Camino de Santiago, you can walk alone in silence or quietly chat with new acquaintances. Furthermore, no one is judging your gear or the brand of your hiking boots. Lastly, you are not too different, old, or young to be on the Camino. Everyone is equal. 

4. Sharing and collaborating is typical behavior on the Camino.

Walking alongside a stranger for long stretches of the Camino is quite common. When invited, pilgrims are eager to share their experiences. Therefore, it’s common to see strangers share lunch, take photos together, offer a blister kit to someone needing foot care, or help repair a bike tire for those doing the Camino by bicycle. 

5. Everyone is working toward the same goal.

No matter your route or how long it takes you, everyone shares the same goal on the Camino – getting to Santiago de Compostela. For this reason, those walking the Camino are willing to help and encourage strangers in their journey. You feel part of something bigger than just you. The first stop for many pilgrims once they reach Santiago de Compostela is Obradoiro Square. Here you will see masses of pilgrims filter into the square to celebrate their arrival – strangers hugging strangers, groups of people singing and dancing, or individuals just sitting in the square taking it all in. There are no barriers or fear of engaging with other pilgrims. Everyone is celebrating their achievement and that of all the others who have made it to the square that day. 

For me, the el Camino de Santiago in Spain was a journey of self-reflection and renewal. It also taught me the importance of tolerance, acceptance, and non-judgmental behavior. Most importantly, the Camino leaves you with the challenge to apply what you learned on your journey to your everyday life.

The post Five compelling reasons to embark on the Camino de Santiago. appeared first on Ciao Lulu!.

I lost my husband, my companion, my life partner, and my best friend, and while it doesn’t matter what you call our relationship, we spent the past 12 years together. Through good and bad times, we were doing it together as a team navigating all that life throws at you. 

Now, I must leave that life and our joint plans behind and navigate an unknown future. When the comfort of having the right partner is no longer possible, sadness and fear sink in immediately. 

While my journey of healing and moving forward is in the early stages, I’ve learned the following from dealing with my loss.

One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.

— Brené Brown

10 tips on how to survive the loss of a loved one.

1. Open up.
   
   
2. Get professional help.
   
   
3. Form a support network.
   
   
4. Take care of business.
   
   
5. Live in the present.
   
   
6. Be assertive.
   
   
7. Take care of yourself.
   
   
8. Accept change.
   
   
9. Go easy on yourself.
   
   
10. Help someone else.

1. Open up. 

Naturally, you may not want to see anyone at first, but the sooner you let people in, the better it will be for you. I didn’t want to be needy but let’s face it, you are when you are dealing with the loss of a loved one. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. I am lucky to have a supportive network of family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Your network will offer to jump on a plane to be with you, check in on you, cook for you, walk your dog, take you out, do your shopping, take projects on to reduce your workload, etc. All I can say is let those around you help. Surviving loss and healing while abroad will be painfully slow if you try to do it alone.

I’m an introvert, so this was a significant change for me – letting others help me. While I could be better at letting people in, I’ve learned that it has been a helpful and positive experience when I do. So, if you want to be more open with people, do these nine things.

2. Get professional help.

I can’t stress how important this is. Your family, friends, and community are crucial but having an objective view, and a professional trained in helping people rebuild their lives after losing a loved one is essential. As I’m usually not an open person, I was skeptical and thought my first session would be my last session. The opposite is true. I continue to see my therapist to this day. On top of that, my therapist also has dual citizenship and understands cultural differences. I can communicate in my native language, and I know that my therapist understands the cultural differences between the United States and Italy.

Regardless of your need – surviving loss abroad, stress, burnout, depression, etc. — it is no longer taboo to seek help. Due to the pandemic, support for mental well-being has become front and center for employees and employers worldwide. Today, people acknowledge that mental health is as important as physical health. On a positive note, many companies now have mental well-being support networks. So, if you work in a large company, check in with your HR or Benefits department to see what services are available to you. Check with your healthcare provider if your company doesn’t offer these services. You can also look into group therapy which can help minimize the cost. If you need help finding or vetting a therapist, here’s a helpful resource on how to find a therapist. 

3. Form a support network.

Outside of therapy, you’ll need a core network to help you survive your loss. These are trusted friends and family close by or a phone call away. You’ll have good and bad days, anxiety attacks, depression, and many ups and downs. Having someone close by to talk through your feelings will help with the healing process. I make it a point to speak with my support network daily. We check in at the same time. Sometimes this is just an IM that everything is ok, or it is a conversation to talk through my feelings. My support group also holds me accountable for the actions I want to take and the behaviors I want to change. While it can be hard to ask for help, this is what friends and family are for; just be there for them when they need your support. You can also find comfort in joining a gym, volunteering, and other social activities. Tap into this tool to beat stress.

4. Take care of business.

With the loss of a loved one, there will be the bureaucratic “stuff” to address – wills, insurance, bills, closing and opening accounts, investments, taxes, property, pensions, etc. Prioritize and organize these activities. Some will be time-sensitive, while other items can wait. I can assure you that the cleaning up and administrative “stuff” is the energy-draining and heartless part of losing someone. It is also when you genuinely get to know a person’s character. Money and material items can often bring out the worst in the people around us. As with anything, understand the laws and your rights. To do that, work through your network. There will be someone who can recommend a lawyer or who has lived through a similar experience. Here’s a financial checklist for when your spouse dies. 

5. Live in the present.

Don’t get trapped in the past; don’t think too far ahead. I can tell you from experience that dwelling on the past will keep you stuck there. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t remember the good times. On the other hand, thinking too far ahead will parallelize you. I often get the question, will you go home, back to the States? While there are many options of where I can live, I don’t need to figure that out today. Surviving loss abroad means trying to take it one day at a time. Thinking too far into the future brings uncertainty and fear, detracting from what you need to do today. If you need help living in the present, read how to start living in the moment and stop worrying.

6. Be assertive.

Don’t be aggressive, don’t be passive, be assertive. Be confident and clear about what you want or need. Stand up for yourself. Why is this important? You don’t want to get sucked into other family members’ issues, dramas, or problems at your expense. You can still help others; just stay on top of your needs and interests. If you need help being assertive, check out seven powerful habits that make you more assertive.

7. Take care of yourself.

Not only should you take care of yourself, spoil yourself – you deserve it. When surviving the loss of a loved one, It is easy to get into the habit of rolling out of bed, putting on the same clothes from the past few days, and going through the motions. I’m not proud of it, but there were days that I didn’t even brush my teeth. You become a prisoner of your situation, and this is not good. Self-love is not only permitted but necessary. You will feel better if you take care of yourself – your health, body, and mind. In the end, you will feel better about yourself, and your outlook on life will improve. Self-love means putting yourself first, caring for your body and mind, and doing the activities you love. Here’s how to focus on yourself – and only yourself.

8. Accept change.

This is one of the hardest parts of loss. Your life will never be as it was. Surviving the loss of a loved one means you will be forced to start over. While a fresh start can be exciting, it is also frightening, especially when you are not looking for it. The sooner you accept this, the quicker you’ll move on. That’s not to say that you won’t make mistakes and slip back into the past. Are you resistant to change? Then check out your five-step resilience exercise for accepting change.

9. Go easy on yourself.

You are only human. Know that you will have good and bad days. Writing my feelings down or journaling helps me work through problems and bring about the changes I’m trying to make. Need help? Here are nine little ways to go easy on yourself right now.

10. Help someone else.

Helping others takes the focus off ourselves. It can also bring satisfaction and improve mental health, among other positive benefits. From experience, helping others provides perspective and can give us purpose. Volunteering your time might not be the first thing that comes to mind when surviving the loss of a loved one, but it will become an integral part of the healing process. Read about the seven scientific benefits of helping others. 

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not “get over” the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.

— Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler

The post 10 helpful tips to adopt when surviving loss abroad. appeared first on Ciao Lulu!.